Lauren talks about the Inner Child
Within all major psychological theories is the acknowledgement that there are multiple parts of the ‘self’ (The Body Keeps the Score, 2014). Modern neuroscience recognises the brain as having multiple streams of consciousness or sub-personalities rather than being one distinct being (The Social Brain, 1985). We all have relationships with our emotions and thought patterns, and the relationships we have with our internal voices are like the relationships we have with other people (Internal Family Systems, 2024). How we “think” is often inner dialogue with different parts of ourselves, for example, have you ever been frustrated with yourself? Or questioned why you reacted in a certain way? It could be that you are questioning another part of you.
There are multiple internal identities within us which can hold challenging emotions and memories, and when these parts are triggered, it can be helpful to take care of them (The Body Keeps the Score, 2014). The different parts of our psyche exist to protect us from harm, and if we can offer compassion, listen, and be curious towards these different parts of ourselves, we can begin to develop a way to self-soothe when experiencing stressful situations or difficult emotions.
You may have heard of different terms such as the inner child, inner parent, inner critic, rescuers, ego states and so on. For this self-care tip, I will be focusing on connecting to one part of our psyche, one of our younger parts which can also be described as the inner child. Our inner children can be described as the most playful, trusting and innocent parts of us but are also the most sensitive (No Bad Parts, 2023). Connecting and looking after your inner child can offer them the safety, comfort and guidance they’ve been searching for. There are many ways to try and connect to your inner child, for example:
• Looking at photographs of your younger self
Consciously talk to your younger self in the photo and trying to get in touch with how they were feeling at this point of your life.
• Writing a letter to your younger self
Practice writing a letter to your younger self with your dominant hand, think of what you would like them to know or what you would like to say to them. Then write back as your inner child using your other hand, allow the child to tell you something, maybe something you’ve forgotten.
• Journalling
Journal your thoughts and feelings, giving a voice to your inner child.
• Meditation
Practice acknowledging and validating your inner child’s emotions, allowing them space to let them out. You could practice by observing the breath or trying different body scanning exercises to observe what is going on within you. Certain apps such as the Calm app can be useful for guided meditation.
• Visualisation
Acknowledge and visualise your inner child and consciously talk to this version of you. Ask them what they might need or what they might be struggling with.
• Engaging in creative or playful activities
Rediscover a creative or playful activity you would do as a child such as painting, colouring, playing a game, climbing or riding a bike.
These types of activities create a kind of observational mindfulness when examining our internal landscape. Practising observational mindfulness can elicit a parasympathetic nervous system response which relaxes your body after periods of stress (Affect Regulation Toolbox, 2007) and decreases activation in the part of the brain which triggers emotional response (The Body Keeps the Score, 2014). In other words, being mindful of what is going on for us internally and connecting to distinct parts of ourselves in a compassionate and curious way, helps to regulate our emotions and give us more control when responding to challenging events.
Resources:
Affect Regulation Toolbox, 2007, Carolyn Daitch
The Body Keeps the Score, 2014, Bessel Van Der Kolk
Introduction to Internal Family Systems, 2024, Richard C. Schwartz
No Bad Parts, 2023, Richard C. Schwartz
The Social Brain, 1985, Michael S. Gazzaniga
